From Strength to Strength

A man I’ve sat in circle with over the years has done a tremendous amount of healing from early childhood abuse.   In the safety of our circle, and with the help of a skilled counsellor, he has courageously released a lifetime of rage and frustration that had kept him timid and submissive.    He has made incredible leaps accepting himself as a “man among men,” and it is a joy for us to experience.

One night, however, he came to our circle discouraged and downcast.  Hanging his head, he declared: “I have made so much progress, so much growth, and again I’m right back in shame and pain of my little boy .” He was very angry with himself for what he called “slipping back” into his distress.  He believed all his growth was lost.

In navigating the masculine journey, we cycle through our issues over and over again.  Depending on the severity of our wounds, we are built up and broken down, each time getting stronger, thereby allowing us to go deeper into our wounds.  This can take a long time.

I told the man that his newfound strength was allowing him to go deeper into his wounds and that “affirmation then desolation” is the way of healing.  It takes strength of self to deal with difficult emotions.   Thankfully, after a certain maturity is reached, a man can cycle through the process quickly, returning himself to a healthy state of well-being on his own.

Men, don’t be discouraged if you find yourself struggling with the same old issues again and again.  Find a good counsellor, therapist, mentor, pastor or priest, and if one is available, a circle of men with whom you can be supported in the cycle of healing.  It’s worth it.

Categories Blog Post | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Posted on March 7, 2013

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  1. by Celeste

    On March 20, 2013

    Patrick an important message. Thank you or sharing and I pray it reaches the heart of many. May me each turn to Him who truy heals us and aids our journey toward.

  2. by Patrick O'Connor

    On March 22, 2013

    Thank you Celeste!

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