What The Old Lady Said – Book Excerpt

Though I knew the Old Lady from Calgary had said something very important to Dr. Kim about me, having spent 10 minutes discussing what she had learned from her ‘reading’ of my energy, I had no idea what it was about.  Dr. Kim simply responded with lots of nodding and u-hums, but beyond this, I knew nothing.  It wasn’t until a week later that I got a clue as to what it was about.

As I often did with Dr. Kim, when he needed to go into Calgary to do something, I drove in with him in his car.  He was an incredible martial arts instructor, but he was a lousy driver, and so he asked me to drive.  I can’t remember what we did in Calgary except that he took me to lunch at a British pub, where we sat at the bar.

“Do Chun, the Old Lady had a lot to say about you.”  I always found it amusing that Dr. Kim called her the “Old Lady;” it sounded disrespectful, but I knew he had a tremendous respect for her.  A few years later, when I understood the message she gave to Dr. Kim about my heart and its wound, I would have also have a deep respect for her.  “You have a deep hurt in your heart about your mother.” As was his custom, when he said something important he screwed up his forehead, tilted his head to the side, and emphasized the word ‘deeeep’ to me.   I really had no idea what he was talking about, but I accepted that, if the Old Lady and he had said it was important, it must have been important.

“When you go to London for Christmas, you will do a tea ceremony for her.  Big crying will come.  Let it come out Do Chun.  Don’t stop it. It is very important for your practice. Don’t stop. Okay?” I nodded knowingly, even though I didn’t know really what he was saying to me.  I did, though, have a sense of what he was asking of me; I had always felt that something was wrong with my relationship with my mother.  Though she was a very loving mother in her care for us, she was not given often to expressing her love with words or physical affection, and I, being an emotional man, didn’t feel like I could really share my heart with her.

The rest of the lunch was a re-emphasizing by Dr. Kim of what I was supposed to do with mom and the tea ceremony.  It must be very important,” I thought to myself, because he was really hammering away at it.  This made me feel anxious, as if my entire Zen practice depended on “big crying coming,” but, rather than sharing my reluctance, I accepted his counsel and decided I would follow through with the tea ceremony and my mother.  As it turned out, my anxiety about my practice depending on it was correct, but I wouldn’t learn that until much later.

Categories Uncategorized | Tags: | Posted on December 2, 2016

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